Who am I?..

I am a woman. An artist.
I am a compassionate person,
That strives to be understood -
But success alludes me.
I am a force to be reckoned with.
I am easily approached,
And even easier to avoid.
I am confused, but that is an understatement.
I am a human being filled with longing.
I am made of hopes and dreams, but I crave reality.
Pain is familiar inside me,
But my outside remains numb.
I am devoid of feeling, but not emotion.
I am one of many words.
I am a victim to my own misgivings.
I am articulate in my mind's eye,
But feel that I lack the capacity to share that view with others.
I am beautiful, but inadequate.
I am a lover of people, but somehow I remain alone.
I am one that avoids men,
Even when I crave their love and support most.
I am encouraged and reinforced by the negative words and lables bestowed upon me.
I am the girl that trusts easily and is broken quickly.
I am a woman that rarely is touched for anything else but sex or pain.
I am one that has never been held without a hidden agenda.
I am stuck.
I was the one that cried alone,
And eventually forgot how.
I can pour words of truth, worth, and meaning from my pen,
But somehow they escape my mouth.
I am creative, original, unique-
But I am blinded by skepticism.
I yearn for normalcy and the extraordinary.
I am a child, cowering away from the face of death -
But never my own.
I am the sister that stays up all night,
Hearing your tears, listening to your problems, exchanging truths.
I am the sister you betrayed,
When our mother was upset with you.
I am the daughter that wasn't meant to be.
The one that you use as a scapegoat,
An errand runner, a housemaid -
A verbal whipping boy for your other two children.
I am the one that is afraid to leave,
Yearns for a change,
But avoids embracing it.
I am a creator of melody,
A writer of song,
The brush on the canvas that life lays out before it -
But I cannot see the picture.
I am the girl beneath you that makes no sound.
That confided in you, knowing, feeling that she shouldn't.
I am the one to think before I feel,
Feel before I trust,
And trust before I know.